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CURTAIN OPENS: The Princess is centerstage, laying on a high twin bed. The Prince enters stage right and walks behind the bed so he is facing the audience.
Prince: Wow! She’s a hottie!
The Prince kisses Sleeping Beauty. The Princess’ eyes flutter. Then she slowly sits up and looks around.
Princess: I am Princess Beauty. Who are you? And how did you get into my room?
Prince: I am Prince Daring, a handsome and heroic prince. I fought past the forest of thorns, slayed the dragon, and woke you up from your 100-year slumber.
The Princess looks the Prince up and down. She then speaks with a lot of attitude.
Princess: Yeah, right! Can I see some identification?
Prince: Identification?
Princess: Yes—a license to carry a concealed sword. A permit to wear armor, and a portrait ID.
Prince: I have never heard of such nonsense!
Princess: Well, what do you expect? You certainly are kind of grungy-looking for a
Prince! And such stories—giant thorn bushes, dragons, sleeping for a hundred years. I have heard guys use some great lines to get a date, but yours are too much! Guards!
Prince: No, seriously. Someone put an evil spell on you, and everyone else in the castle. You all slept for 100 years. Then thorns grew over the castle, and a dragon moved in. I killed him. The place was a mess. That’s how I got so dirty.
Princess: Uh…huh… Wait a minute—how did you wake me up?
Prince: I kissed you!
Princess speaks angrily.
Princess: You what?
The Prince speaks nervously.
Prince: I…uh…kissed you. Just a little kiss, of course, since we had not been formally introduced.
The Princess slaps the Prince across the face. The Prince grabs his cheek and looks shocked.
Prince: Why did you do that?
Princess: How dare you kiss me without my permission?
Prince: But you were asleep…for a hundred years! You know…Sleeping Beauty! How could I ask you??
The Captain of the Guards enters stage right, followed by the other guards. All of them are moving slowly and yawning, looking disheveled.
Captain: You called for us, your majesty?
Princess: Captain, have you or your men been sleeping lately?
The guards stop yawning and jump to attention.
Captain: Certainly not! Who is spreading such a terrible rumor?
Princess: Is there a forest of thorns outside?
Captain: Thorns, your majesty?
Princess: Yes, and are there any dead dragon bodies lying around in the courtyard?
Prince: Well, they’re gone now! The thorns melted, and the dragon disappeared when I killed him!
Princess: Oh, please! Captain, arrest this man.
The Captain points his sword at the Prince.
Captain: I command you to yield to my sword!
The Prince grabs the Captain’s wrist and takes his sword.
Prince: You mean this sword?
Captain: Why…uh… yes. Men—seize him!
The Prince throws the Captain’s sword out the window. The guards, two at a time, approach the Prince and start sword fighting with him. The Prince uses a combination of his sword and karate to defeat each set of two guards.