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Snow White: Why, what a cute little cottage! I think I will stop to visit...Well, look at all those cute little clothes, and chairs and stuff. This must be a child’s dollhouse. Either that, or some vertically-challenged people must live here.
She knocks on the door. When no one answers, she knocks again.
Snow White: Hmmm, it doesn’t look like anyone is home.
She opens the door and yells inside.
Snow White: Hello, short people? It’s me, Snow White. Is anybody home?
Snow White walks through the door of the cottage, and her voice is heard from the other side.
Snow White: Just look at those tiny plates and silverware! And those itty-bitty loaves of bread are the size of biscuits. These people aren’t very neat, though. This place is sure a mess!
The Dwarfs enter stage right and cross to about centerstage just as Snow White walks back through the door to the front of the house.
Snow White: Oh, look, lawn gnomes! And they move—mechanical lawn gnomes!
How special!
Cranky: Who are you? And what do you want?
Leery speaks and then hides behind Cranky.
Leery: A-a-and what are you d-d-doing in our house?
Snow White: Oh, TALKING mechanical lawn gnomes! Can you sing, too? Let’s try a round—Row, row, row your boat… you don’t sing, huh?
Clumsy throws down his shovel and walks forward to confront Snow White, but he trips on his shovel and falls at her feet.
Clumsy: You can’t call us gnomes! Oops!
The Main Man: What my man is trying to say is that we ain’t gnomes, we’re Dwarfs, and this here is our pad, our dom-i-cile, you dig?
Cranky: So, I ask again, what do you want?
Dozer: I hope we aren’t having company. I need a nap!
Simple walks over to Snow White, removes his hat.
Simple: You sure are pur-ty!
Jubilant: Ha, ha! She sure is, Simple. Ha ha! And we are being rude! Let us introduce ourselves. I am Jubilant!
Simple: I’m Simple.
Leery peaks from behind Cranky, introduces himself and then hides behind Cranky again.
Leery: I-I-I am Leery.
Cranky: What’s it to ya?
Jubilant: Cranky?
Cranky: Yes, I am!
Clumsy gets up from the ground with his shovel, leans on it, and almost falls again.
Clumsy: I’m…
Snow White: Let me guess, you’re Clumsy.
Clumsy: Yeah.
The Main Man: And I am The Main Man!
The Main Man does a few break-dancing moves. Dozer is asleep standing there. The Main Man elbows him in the ribs.
Dozer: Huh? What? Oh, I am Dozer.
He falls asleep again.
Snow White: I am very pleased to meet you. My name is Snow White.
Cranky: Yeah, well, for the third time, what are you doing here?
Leery: Cranky, be nice!
Snow White: Well, it’s kind of a long story.
Dozer: Yawn. I hope you won’t mind if I sleep through part of it.
Snow White: Well, you see, I am a princess, and the Evil Queen is my stepmother, and her magic Looking-glass told her that I was prettier than her. So… she got very upset because she has this huge ego, you know, very vain. So… she told the Huntsman to take me into the woods and kill me, but he’s a nice guy, and he felt sorry for me. So…he told me to run away into the woods, and never go back to the castle. So…he took a boar’s heart to fool her since she doesn’t know anatomy, you know? So…it’s my birthday, and now I won’t have a party, or chocolate cake and strawberry ice cream, and I won’t get to dance with the Prince.