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Zeus: My fellow gods and goddesses, what else can I say? What a war!
The GODS applaud and cheer. POSEIDON grows angrier.
Zeus: HaHa, really folks. Spectacular showing from all of you. The Trojan War, as I hear the mortals are calling it, will certainly go down in history as one of the greats. And all of you played integral parts. Appreciation has been simply pouring in from the Achaeans!
The GODS cheer and applaud again, but this time POSEIDON interrupts angrily.
Poseidon: Simply pouring in, is it? Is that so, oh great and powerful Zeus? Appreciation for whom exactly? You? Your lovely wife? Ha, yeah, a lot she ever does…
Hera: What is THAT supposed to mean?
Poseidon: Oh, nothing, Hera. I’m sure the goddess of marriage did LOADS to contribute to the war.
Hera: Back off, Poseidon.
Zeus: I strongly advise you to indulge the lady’s request. Trust me on this one.
Poseidon: No problem. It’s not as if she’s the only one of you powerless hacks that’s getting all the praise for something you had little to do with. All Hades did was open his doors wide for the casualties, and his charming, ever-helpful wife Persephone, well, I’m sure she grew some flowers or something. But you can bet that both of them have gotten a big share of the thanks.
Persephone: Grew some flowers? Try bringing renewal and rebirth, year after year, to the whole world!
Hades: It’s not as if your contributions were somehow any greater than the rest of ours. We’re supposed to be working together.
Poseidon:(mockingly) “We’re supposed to work together!”
Athena: Hey! What’s your problem? You have been thanked, Poseidon, just as much as the rest of us. In fact, you’ve received more sacrifices than most of the gods here!
Poseidon: Oh, please! You’re really one to talk, Athena! The golden child and patron of
Athens! All of Greece will be praising you to years to come!
Athena:(sarcastically) And I’m SURE the God of the Seas didn’t get his thanks from a victorious NAVAL-BASED SEA-FARING NATION! (to HERMES) Can you believe this guy?
Hermes: Oh no, please don’t bring me into this… I do not want to be on the wrong side of his
temper. No, no, no! I’ve seen what happens.
Poseidon: You don’t get it! You just don’t get it! You were all there! Odysseus’s speech! You all heard it!
Persephone: Yeah, so what?
Hermes: I thought it was a lovely speech.
Hera: What’s your point?
Poseidon: Really?! A lovely speech?! Are you serious?!
Hades: Oh, get on with it! What, did he mispronounce your name or something?
Poseidon: No! That’s just it! He didn’t say my name AT ALL! He thanked everyone, every single one of you! He thanked every one of his crew! His family! His supporters! His friends! He even thanked his dead mother, but he didn’t thank me! The celebrated CAPTAIN Odysseus of the TROJAN WAR DIDN’T THANK ME!!!
Hera: Oh, pipe down, will ya?
Zeus: Poseidon… I don’t want to be rude or anything, but I mean… So what? What’s the big deal? You’ve got thousands of mortals worshipping you, and you’re really this upset about one guy?
Poseidon: YES!
Athena:(aside) What a baby!
Hera: Well… I don’t suppose after that little outburst that any of you might be interested in a game of bocce, hmm?
All the GODS, except POSEIDON, murmur and grumble their way offstage, the party atmosphere now dampened. POSEIDON takes a bottle or glass from near by and approaches the model of the ship, drinking and brooding.
Poseidon: Who do they think they are? Like they’re so much better than me. I’m not the baby. They’re the babies! Stupid, poopy-pants babies!! You hear that! Hmph! I’ll show them.
(Looking at the ship) And I’ll show you, Odysseus. You’ll never forget my name again…
HERMES enters to see POSEIDON dumps the contents of the bottle/glass over the model of the ship then drapes the surrounding blue cloth over it, laughing menacingly. HERMES gasps, and runs off to tell the others.
Blackout.